A study in self-preservation
Perhaps it is irresponsible of me to define humanity based on the people I hang out with, simply because the people I choose to associate myself with could never be confused with “normal.” “Normal” is, of course, a slippery little concept, but still, these people do not fit in with what normal is generally considered to be. The people I’ve taken into my circle of loves and acquaintances are the art fags, the queers, the strangely intellectual, the boozehounds, and the degenerates. Still, though, I think the trend that I’ve noticed in them is not different from the way humans have responded to this sometimes shithole we call reality.
That being said, I’m not sure when exactly self-destruction becomes an act of self-preservation, but that seems to be the pervading pattern. When we are upset we resort to different measures to comfort ourselves, none of which are probably healthy. Most of us would rather find our solace at the bottom of a cocktail glass, beer bottle, mirror and a razorblade, or a joint than do anything that would be considered “healthy.” It’s not even just restricted to those that partake in the substance using lifestyle, though, strangely. When religious people fast, wear their knees out praying, force themselves to do things their natural self protests against, they are practicing a form of self-preservation sought through self-destruction.
This pattern is so odd, and I pretend I want to understand the drive behind it, what makes us seek our peace in our war on our bodies. Maybe I’d rather not understand, though, and just drown my sorrows in that pint of ice cream or that dirty martini.